Confession: I Hate Homeschooling
I hate homeschooling. There I said it. It’s been a secret that has been festering for years. To everyone that thinks that people homeschool because they absolutely love it and life is all sunshine and roses, this may be a huge wake-up call. We’ve been homeschooling for eight years and there is at least one point in every day that I wonder, “Why am I doing this!?!?!?“
I Hate Homeschooling
Imagine this…
Preparing 21 meals a week plus snacks.
Cleaning up after said meals and snacks. (Even when the dishwasher is broke and you can’t afford paper plates.)
Seeing the same four faces all day, everyday. Ev.er.y.day.
No adult conversations for days on end.
The budget getting so low you can’t go to the museums, zoo, co-op or anywhere really.
Doing teacher prep work for every subject for 4 different grade levels and 4 different learning styles while satisfying my preschooler’s need to talk all.day.long.
Breaking up dramatic fights at least once every 15 minutes. (I know my kids aren’t the only ones….)
Maintaining a clean house while 4 children are in it full-time. Because it’s miserable when it’s not clean.
Working from home. With kids in tow.
No break from pre-teen hormone drama. (this may be the worst reason yet…;)
You may be thinking, “If she hates homeschooling so much, why does she do it?”
That is a good question.
The real truth is that I hate homeschooling in moments.
Passing moments.
Much like a person who goes to work hates their job (though I have a suspicion that some people may actually hate their job on a full-scale level…), but still goes to work everyday hoping that this will be the day when it’s marvelous.
Seeing the smiles on my kids’ faces when they realize that Yes.I.Can. after struggling with a topic for months.
Watching the pre-teen hormone drama giving way to a couple lovely young ladies who just want to make an impact on the world. (I only have two pre-teens so far.)
Having extremely important conversations like, “Why does a volcano erupt?” or “What will happen if I mix these two things together?” (A favorite of my 2nd grader.) This is ultimately more interesting than any adult small-talk.
Sending the kids out to play, so that they can take advantage of the sunshine before the harsh winter hits.
Giving my kids the opportunity to learn through life and not from just reading about it.
Connecting with people from all over the world with this awesome blog! *wink*
Planning, measuring and building a hot cocoa stand is so much better learning than math drills.
Hearing my preschooler talk after waiting more than 4 years. (If that means that she practices 16 hours a day, I’m all for it.)
Being around for all the good moments. The smiles, the hugs, the laughter.
So even though I hate homeschooling at least once a day,
I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything.
Homeschooling has allowed our family to travel to 46 states. 3 Canadian Provinces. 7 countries. All without missing a day of school.
We’ve learned foreign languages without textbooks.
We’ve learned math through meal planning (and baking cookies!)
We’ve visited with grandmas and grandpas and built relationships that can217;t be achieved in a short weekend visit or summer break.
We’ve been able to do amazing things.
All because of homeschooling.
I love homeschooling
So what about you? What side of the fence are you on right now? Hate or Love?
If you are having an “I hate homeschooling” moment, I challenge you… make a list of everything that you love about homeschooling instead of letting that moment fester and grow in you.
Let’s talk… tell me why you hate homeschooling. (Or why you love it!)
I hate that I have to “police” two younger children while I teach my first grader. I hate worrying that the younger two are too loud or that the younger two don’t feel included. I hate all the cooking and cleaning. I HATE IT! I want to just sit and look at my children and enjoy it and NOT have to get up to cook or clean or wipe a butt.
BUT my daughter has read 550 books in less than a year!!! I was able to teach her to read! How cool is that!? My kids eat super healthy and have such a great time learning from home.
I’m so glad that I found this post, and now I know I’m not alone! I always wonder if other HS moms are lying when they talk about how great it is! I hate all the things that others have mentioned. We’re in our eighth year now and the only reason I’m still going is bc I hate the idea of public school more. I hate seeing my bad attitude have a negative effect on my kids, and bc I have such a short temper now, I don’t like the mother I’ve become. I do believe the key to sustainability is regular breaks for renewal, and I have to find a way to do that, regardless of all the reasons not to.
I typed in the phrase “my kid hates homeschooling” and I found this site. Now there is this one place where I can say
I HATE HOMESCHOOLING!!! But I think I have to add (my kid) to the end of that sentence and that really makes me feel like a bad person. I would like to teach her if she wasn’t always whining and moaning and fighting me every step of the way! I absolutely DETEST making lesson plans because I just don’t know what to with things like math or science. I can teach her history since I’m pretty familiar with many subjects and with that we just have talks where I just tell her stories about the subject and then we build on it by maybe watching a doco or finding a book. And then then throughout the month at any time of day I might ask her a question about the subject to refresh her. THAT is FINE. But to sit her at a table to do english, math (which I am terrible at) then the complaining starts, and the refusals to do anything begin and I just want to cry, cry, cry! SHe has disabilities and I have a painful case of Fibromyalgia which means I am fatigued and in severe pain a lot. I need to learn how to put a more creative spin on everything else she does but I honestly feel I don’t feel I know what I’m doing. But I do know this: I will NOT send her back to public school! I will have to figure out a way, struggle through it! I have to believe something will click at some point. I’m going to keep searching in books, and the net for ideas and stop being so hard on myself. Think out of the box. It doesn’t have to look like school! That’s why I took her OUT! OMG- thanks to everyone who let me write this and for reading it. Hold on moms! We are doing the right thing for our kids! We will figure it out. Have faith.
Funny, I just googled “I hate homeschooling” like a few other moms and found this post as well 🙂 I have five boys ages 14 down to almost three and we’ve been homeschooling since the beginning. The last several years have been especially challenging. I have all of the same insecurities as everyone else on here and also wish, almost daily, that I could just send them off to the public school. We are Christians, however, and the way the schools are going it isn’t even an option to send them. I don’t know that I would really want to send them off anyway. As much as they drive me crazy, I also appreciate being able to direct their learning and, even more, preserve their innocence as long as possible.
I think we moms don’t give ourselves enough breaks away from the children. I know I don’t. My husband is tired from his job and he wants to get away too (although I’ve pointed out to him that he at least gets to be away from the children while I’m with them almost constantly).
God be with all of you moms! I believe this is a blessed struggle. I also believe it is completely ok to back off and just focus on the basics when it’s too much. I need to take my own advice too 😉
Thank you for this honest post 💜
I literally just typed “I hate homeschooling my children” into Google and found your blog. This is the end of our fifth year homeschooling and I am not sure I’ve hated it this much EVER!
I feel like I’m failing them and failing myself. They are definitely learning but the attitudes…..oh my word…..the attitudes. I AM OVER IT!!! I’m over the fighting, the disobedience, the whinging and moaning. It’s not always like this but it feels awful right now. Thank you for giving me hope it will feel something other than horrid again
I stumbled across this while googling “I hate homeschooling” praying I wasn’t the only one.
For now, the “I hate this, throw all the books away, we’re marching down to the public school to register her so THEY can mess her up because I’m completely done with this” feelings aren’t *daily*, I’d say 2-3 days a week though…..but when they hit, they last longer than a moment when my super-intelligent, but INCREDIBLY stubborn 9 year old simply decides “not today” and “forgets” how to do things she’s known for over a year (like long division). I’m always conflicted between “call it a day, she’s just not feeling it today” and “I don’t care…school is her JOB and she’ll do it whether she likes it or not!” I think part of the conflict is that a big reason I pulled her out of public school is they didn’t strive to make sure kids “got” one concept before moving on to the next (I get it that with 20-30 kids they don’t have much choice, but when I watched my kid — who knew all multiplication facts to 20×20 from memory– be absolutely lost in the process of multiplying multiple digit numbers by multiple digit numbers if the problem was 37×41 she was multiplying the 3&7 from 37 and the 4&1 from 41 then adding….the fact her “answer” was far smaller than either of the others and therefore wasn’t a reasonable answer never registered with her….yet by the time that assignment came home and I saw she was having trouble, it was a month old and the class had moved on to three new concepts since that assignment)….so when she digs in her heels and all but refuses to do her work, I have issues justifying “letting it slide” without feeling I’m letting her do exactly what the public school allowed (I suppose it could be argued that unlike public school, she wouldn’t just not her it as we could stay in that concept as long as it took for her to get it, but then I fall prey to the fear that my public-school-teacher friends will be judging my ability to teach when my daughter hasn’t learned xyz by a certain point).
During those days I have to constantly remind myself of all the various reasons I pulled her from public school to begin with and how sending her back (especially if done with the “I can’t stand being your teacher go somewhere else to learn” connotation) would be the worst thing I could do to her. I try to convince myself it will eventually get better.
I feel the same way. My daughter is on the spectrum and other schools didn’t work out. This is my first year and I hate it. I don’t see the positive anymore. Since the holidays, I’ve had zero patience. I just don’t like teaching my daughter. I don’t even want to be around her anymore, and I’ve never felt this way about her before. I don’t know where to turn for help.
Is it possible for you to find someone to relieve you for an hour or two, so that you can get out of the house? Sometimes even getting out in the evening can help. Or try to find a co-op in your area. Sometimes going to random activities in town give you a chance to meet people. It’s also tough if you are stuck inside because of weather, so make sure that you are getting some breaks outdoors when possible.
I am so glad I found this post. I am not alone! We are not the exception! I have been so discouraged and have started looking at school options. Today I finally admitted to myself that I hate it. So I googled, and here I found a community. Thank you for the honesty and transparency! I hate homeschooling. I hate the constant doubt-is this the best for them? Am I doing them a disservice? Are they learning anything? Are they learning enough? Are they going to end up hating each other? Am I limiting their opportunities to meet people and experience a broad variety of extracurricular activities? Are they going to be able to handle college? Am I doing it right? I hate that I give in to yelling and their constant fights! I hate the mess. I hate trying to figure out what to feed them. I hate that I am so tired. I hate how isolating it can feel.
Now that I got the hate out of the way, I will have to start finding the love. It’s only my 2nd yr homeschooling but I’ve already forgotten what I loved about it last year. I’m ready to start looking for the positive and rekindling the passion I had for it when I started. So glad to find I’m not alone and my kids arent extra horrible.
Keep going!
I hate homeschooling when daughter #1 acts like she hates being in my presence (preteen). I hate it when my son refuses to read anything without me hanging over his shoulder (I suspect he is *a little* dyslexic). I hate homeschooling when daughter #2 refuses to focus (bored, I think- she’s advanced). I hate that my kids have become antisocial little hermits that resist the very idea of a homeschool group, which I need SO BAD because I need to talk to other grownups sometimes.
I love that daughter #1 doesn’t have to be around the “mean girl” bullies in public school. I love that my son gets the individual attention that he needs. I love that daughter #2 can sleep as long as she needs- she needs more sleep than anybody I know, and can’t sleep until noon at 7 years old- getting her up before 6 AM to catch the bus was horrible!
I don’t want to homeschool next year. I had a part time job that I LOVED before I started homeschooling. But my kids need me. And I don’t think public school is good for them- at least not for two out of three, and I don’t want to deal with public school schedules AND homeschooling. I think I would lose my mind even more than I do now. BUT I think I’m “mean mom” more often than “fun mom”- this whole homeschooling thing has me questioning whether or not I should have even chosen to BE a mom, because I have next to no patience and a very low threshold. It is SO HARD! So hard! And my house is NEVER clean anymore.
I’m glad to see that I’m not alone.
I hate homeschooling. Period. Everyday is a fight over every worksheet. We moved to an area with awful school systems so we have no recourse. I feel like I’m suffocating. I never get away from my children, and they are turning me into someone I hate. I’m a loving, caring, compassionate person, but I feel like all I do is yell. No one listens, and I have to nag ALL. DAY. LONG. I’m sick of it. We’ve been doing this for 4 months, and I hate it. We travel a lot, so that’s the only plus out of this. I’d give anything to just get a break from my kids 8-2 Monday-Friday.
I hate it too. I specifically googled it to see if I’m alone. I have no one to talk about it in real life, either.
Except in addition to all of the above (minus 1 kid) we don’t do anything cool because we have no money. Public school is not an option and there isn’t a private school within a reasonable driving distance (like, under 2 hours) , also please see my afforementioned problem of no money.
Kinda getting tired of 9 months of complete funk.
I hate homeschooling. I hate it because I wonder if I’m doing a good enough job. I worry that I’m not doing enough hands on fun stuff. I hate it because my oldest is so hard to teach. She hates reading and will just guess sometimes on words she has known for years and have attitude issues. I hate homeschooling because I feel like a lot of times I lose my patience too quickly when the kids are whiner butts and refuse to do their work. But, I do it because my 2nd born had lots of health issues and allergies, so it’s best if he’s home. Also, when the kids ARE trying to learn and excited about something I really enjoy it. I enjoy doing sensory and science experiments with them. I enjoy homeschooling to keep them in an environment where they can learn together as a family. Also, I feel like by homeschooling I can give them the individualized education a teacher in a public school system isn’t able to do due to the crazy amount of kids in her class, so that’s another pro.
Thanks so much for sharing this post! It was encouraging and very easy to relate to! ♡
I have 4 in homeschool. Pre-K, K, 1st and 9th. OMG they all want my attention at the same time and they do fight. They think it should be fun everyday or they complain. And I get literally sick at my stomach when I have to listen to my 1st grader for 45 minutes to read a board book. Even though I know he’s little still. I get no support from dad, even though its his decision for me to do this. I’d rather send two of the little guys to school. And no money ever… To do an.y.thing. 24 hour on call. Why do I do this? I don’t love it. I have to. And I do love my kids dearly. I think I resent their dad deeply though. P.S. He refuses to work a stable job. But maybe something good will come of it. God knows best. Pray for me!
I hate everything about homeschooling. I’ve been HS’ing for 10 years. I may be experiencing burn out. My daughter learned to read at 10yrs old. I feel like all of my children are severely behind. They hate school in any form. My oldest turned 18 last November. He refuses to finish. I hate all the cleaning constantly, the fights, the slow pace we have to keep. I want to run far, far away. I have them on Easy Peasy because I don’t have the motivation to create lesson plans. The local school is abusive to mentally handicapped students. I feel I have no choices. My husband loves homeschool, because nothing interupts his work routine. I don’t have joy when they finally learn something after years of trying. I feel relieved, but not joy. My kids are all on the autism spectrum. There is no help here. Doctors just want to medicate. Therapist talk a lot, but the kids don’t seem to be gaining anything. I see everyone celebrating their triumphs. I feel like we’ve had none. I don’t fit in with HS groups. They are religious. I’m not affiliated. I lean towards concrete explanations. I hope this passes.
I wish I could give you a hug. I’m sorry it’s been hard. I have a lot of respect for you to have persevered through difficult and sometimes depressing times. It shows how much you love your children.
I am so glad to hear that my kids aren’t the only ones who are constantly bickering! Drives me crazy! I have 8 kids interacting all day long. I hate homeschooling at times too, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I can’t imagine letting anyone else pour into my kids.
Thanks for this wonderful post. I also hate homeschooling…a little….each day! The constant mess….constant breaking up arguments between my kids….CONSTANT….cooking and cleaning is never ending. I also am always and forever worried I am not doing enough, not planning enough, not engaging enough, wondering if I am giving them all they need. The pressure is overwhelming at times. I also agree homeschooling is the most rewarding and wonderful experience and our family loves it. We love being together, what a gift! We love all the wonderful opportunities it brings, and I love actually being with my kids for this short and fleeting moment called childhood. I am blessed. 2 kiddos…this is our 4th year homeschooling, 2nd and 6th grade. Thanks for this post, I truly needed to hear I am not alone. Many blessings to you and all the homeschool families reading.
I hate homeschooling in a country, France, that requires yearly home inspections and testing, but I am grateful that homeschooling is still legal and growing in numbers each year. I hate the combat of homeschooling a profound dyslexic son. It means tons of individual time with him while trying to keep up with a toddler, middle schooler, and two other primary children. I dreamed of homeschooling with ALL the kids around the family table learning together ….. Sometimes it happens about once a week. However, I love the fact that thanks to homeschooling my son has finally learn to read and for his 11th birthday HE chose 2 books to buy with his birthday money! He says he LOVES to read!!!!!!! And that is a miracle for me.
I’m not the only one! I agree with your list. All the cooking and cleaning! Blerg. The actual school part is fun most of the time. But all the distractions and physically being with my children all the time, is often draining. (I have four kids as well.) I love the flexibility in our schedule and seeing them take ownership of their own learning. Many benefits, but it doesn’t make it easy or always enjoyable.
I love homeschooling my daughter. Seeing the excitement as she learns. Watching how quickly she picks things up.
I hate homeschooling my son. The melt downs and whining. Constantly having him say “no” and “I can’t do it.” @[email protected] Every. Single. Activity. Doing anything with him is exhausting and it carries into even when we are not doing school stuff.
I love doing lesson plans. (I might have issues)
I hate wondering if I am even teaching them what they need to know.
I love being able to travel, and grow things, and make meals and calling it school. I have friends with older kids that have no concept of how to cook or take care of themselves but my eight year old can make small meals. (With parent supervision of course)
I love turning “everyday” opportunities into learning!
I am only in my 3rd year, but we pulled all the kids from public school. I hate the drama. I have always worked to combat girl drama, yet here it is. I know some came from those years we weren’t at home. I hate the fights and the little niggling things they do to each other to provoke a fight. I hate the distractions. I hate the accounting. But I think this week I saw some greatness to what we are doing. This week my 11 year old wrote “I love math” on her math work. She exclaimed that math was so cool! I finally got her to see how great it can be. I love that I was the one able to help her see math is cool. Math with her has been a constant fight.
Congratulations on your math victory!
I hate the fights that break ou, but love watching them teach each other. I hate all the cooking I have to do, but love that they prefer my cake over a store brought cake each birthday. I hate lesson planning, I HATE LESSON PLANNING. I hate the messy house, but love that they have large imaginations. I really hate the loud noise.
So glad I am not alone. I thought homeschooling was about building relationships with my children but I feel like I argue with them more than anything (I have 4-pre-k through 9th grade). I felt so ashamed to type the words I hate homeschooling into the Google search bar, but here I am. It’s a constant struggle. I was glad to see I was not alone.